Sonic Generations: WHEE I’M GOING SO FAST AND THIS GAME DOESN’T SUCK THANK YOU SEGA
Split/Second: I fucking suck at drifting. Also a bit of relief when I noticed that the traps aren’t Instakill buttons.
Midnight Club LA: why did i buy this game i have absolutely terrible navigation skills
but its so fun
- Kiyobi: Man, fuck Skyrim and MW3.
- Not Kiyobi: Why?
- Kiyobi: Taking away all my friends and shit :(
- Not Kiyobi: Haha, you said the same thing about Halo and look at you now. Playing with those Halofags.
- Kiyobi: That's only because I got Reach for free from Microsoft. Also they were rarely playing Reach when I started playing.
- Not Kiyobi: You should at least try them out you know. Again, Reach.
- Kiyobi: Dude, you remember Oblivion? That was boring as hell and you know it.
- Not Kiyobi: Okay, fine. What about MW3?
- Kiyobi: Fuck Activision.
- Not Kiyobi: And Blur is...?
- Kiyobi: A fun game.
- Not Kiyobi: And MW2 wasn't?
- Kiyobi: Noobtubes!
- Not Kiyobi: Yet you bought both games.
- Kiyobi: So?
- Not Kiyobi: You're buying Activision stuff.
- Kiyobi: That was before the IW bullshit, dude.
- Not Kiyobi: Pff, you bought Blur waaaay after.
- Kiyobi: Shut up.
- Not Kiyobi: Yeah. You know you actually want to play MW3.
- Kiyobi: ...fine okay yes. But fuck that pricetag.
- Not Kiyobi: Can't argue with you on that one.
- Kiyobi: Friday can't come any sooner.
- Not Kiyobi: Yeah.
- Professor: ...you know, instead of comparing the Wii against the Xbox or... someone help me out here...
- More silence.
- Me (totally serious): The Dreamcast, I think...
- Professor: Oh yeah! That's the one.
- No laughs. Everyone thought I was serious.
I understand you’re on the phone, but didn’t your fucking mother teach you to look both ways before crossing the street? AND WHY ARE YOU NOT USING A FUCKING CROSSWALK I ALMOST FUCKING RAN YOU OVER. I was about to be cool with it until you gave me that not so friendly gesture. I hope you actually do get run over by a car.
Dear Driver Behind Me In The Jammed Parking Lot,
THERE’S A REASON WHY I STOPPED THERE ASSHOLE. NOW THAT YOU CUT IN FRONT OF ME YOU’RE BLOCKING LEFT TURNING TRAFFIC. FUCKING DOUCHEBAG. I hope you die in the most unglorious car accident ever so nobody notices your existence.
Dear Stop Sign Runner,
I HAVE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY ASSHOLE. THERE’S CARS COMING IN FROM A GREEN LIGHT. Kindly die in a fire.
and finally, Dear Construction Workers,